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♣ The name's Zanny... which means adventurous, crazy...
♣ Still considering what permanent job I want for the rest of my life.
♣ Loves: Wolves, dogs, MY cello, looking at clouds, My family and... you know who you are.
♣ Hates: Backstabbers? people who talk without using their brains first? you get the point.
♣ Dreams of: Having a 9-5 job that pays well. Have my own house where i can provide a living heaven for my dogs. Live a peaceful life with those i hold dear to. Have a family. Die peacefully.
♣ I'm just an ordinary girl, living in a extraordinary world. Longing for time to myself where i can just sit down with my dogs by my side, sipping tea and looking at the clouds drift by.
♣ I hate pain and am really sensitive to pain. Hates people randomly slapping me, I don't care whether it's a light pat or a tight slap.
♣ I'm very anti social and hates the effort of reconnecting with people. It doesn't mean I don't care or I've forgotten them though... Just call me and i WILL be there for you.
♣ It's just that, It hurts to know that there's a distance and we won't be as close as we used to. Sigh, I really wish college could last forever. I had my closest high school friends as my housemates and i found the best friends i could only dream of. And i found you.
♣ I think too much. I wake up from my dreams crying sometimes. Sometimes because of a friend. Might be my family or even you. I cry and get depressed when I'm drunk. I'm just weird. sorry.


♣♣ Like an instrument for a song
- Like the sun for tomorrow's dawn
- Every moment of time's just an answer to find
- What you're here for, what you breathe for
- What you wake for, What you bleed for.

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Friday, August 26, 2011 , 10:39:00 AM




Good things never last. Somehow, somewhere, Something will happen and snatch all those good things away. It might be someone. It could be something. An incident, a change in conditions. Good things just never last. Either self inflicted damage or damage done from outside.
Now you see why i could never stay in love for too long? It was because i was never brave enough to brace these insecurities. Once i felt hurt or insecure. I back out. I quit. And then i lose interest. Although i get hurt but i just lose interest in whoever im in close with. And because of this I've hurt people. I've wrecked people up. Some never changed for the better. I'm just monstrous. I give up on family, friends, lovers. I'm just hopeless. weak. I disgust myself.I'm so afraid of losing those i love that I hurt them instead. It's just revolting.
And there's nothing i can do to change that. Or rather i don't know HOW.



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