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♣ The name's Zanny... which means adventurous, crazy...
♣ Still considering what permanent job I want for the rest of my life.
♣ Loves: Wolves, dogs, MY cello, looking at clouds, My family and... you know who you are.
♣ Hates: Backstabbers? people who talk without using their brains first? you get the point.
♣ Dreams of: Having a 9-5 job that pays well. Have my own house where i can provide a living heaven for my dogs. Live a peaceful life with those i hold dear to. Have a family. Die peacefully.
♣ I'm just an ordinary girl, living in a extraordinary world. Longing for time to myself where i can just sit down with my dogs by my side, sipping tea and looking at the clouds drift by.
♣ I hate pain and am really sensitive to pain. Hates people randomly slapping me, I don't care whether it's a light pat or a tight slap.
♣ I'm very anti social and hates the effort of reconnecting with people. It doesn't mean I don't care or I've forgotten them though... Just call me and i WILL be there for you.
♣ It's just that, It hurts to know that there's a distance and we won't be as close as we used to. Sigh, I really wish college could last forever. I had my closest high school friends as my housemates and i found the best friends i could only dream of. And i found you.
♣ I think too much. I wake up from my dreams crying sometimes. Sometimes because of a friend. Might be my family or even you. I cry and get depressed when I'm drunk. I'm just weird. sorry.
♣♣ Like an instrument for a song
- Like the sun for tomorrow's dawn
- Every moment of time's just an answer to find
- What you're here for, what you breathe for
- What you wake for, What you bleed for.
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Monday, February 28, 2011
, 6:39:00 AM
⇨Sorry, the heart you are trying to connect to is down for maintenance.
If you really were into me, you'd come get me.
For now, I'm just gonna chill and let go.
We had something special, so special that I was willing to wait for months, unconditionally, just for you.
But you took my willingness to wait and wait for granted. Well, that's how i feel.
You're scared of commitment, well, have you ever thought about me? Aren't i also involved, I have a commitment to bear too. Well, for you, i overcome my fear.
You're scared of losing track, well, I AM TOO! But a relationship is supposed to be something with ONLY TWO people, where both pull each other together from time to time.
You're scared of what awaits us in the future, well, Am i not a human with fears? I AM TOO! But I'm willing to take the chance, FOR YOU.
You're scared of the responsibility, i have been trying over and over again to drill this in your head, we're in this TOGETHER. That's what our hand are held tight for. To silently give each other strength to carry out our responsibilities... you have yours and i have mine.
You say you don't have faith in yourself, well, neither do i. But who knows? you never know if you don't try.
We were so great together, the laughter, the similarities, the way we clicked. I had total faith in us. But it seems like you didn't. too bad then.
I'm officially giving up waiting for you. From now on I shall set myself free and not feel obliged to wait for you. You shall not be what you were in my heart anymore.
I'm taking my heart for refreshing and resettings... maintenance. =)
There'll still be scars here and there, but it's strong, it'll survive.
The story of us, is over for now.