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♣ The name's Zanny... which means adventurous, crazy...
♣ Still considering what permanent job I want for the rest of my life.
♣ Loves: Wolves, dogs, MY cello, looking at clouds, My family and... you know who you are.
♣ Hates: Backstabbers? people who talk without using their brains first? you get the point.
♣ Dreams of: Having a 9-5 job that pays well. Have my own house where i can provide a living heaven for my dogs. Live a peaceful life with those i hold dear to. Have a family. Die peacefully.
♣ I'm just an ordinary girl, living in a extraordinary world. Longing for time to myself where i can just sit down with my dogs by my side, sipping tea and looking at the clouds drift by.
♣ I hate pain and am really sensitive to pain. Hates people randomly slapping me, I don't care whether it's a light pat or a tight slap.
♣ I'm very anti social and hates the effort of reconnecting with people. It doesn't mean I don't care or I've forgotten them though... Just call me and i WILL be there for you.
♣ It's just that, It hurts to know that there's a distance and we won't be as close as we used to. Sigh, I really wish college could last forever. I had my closest high school friends as my housemates and i found the best friends i could only dream of. And i found you.
♣ I think too much. I wake up from my dreams crying sometimes. Sometimes because of a friend. Might be my family or even you. I cry and get depressed when I'm drunk. I'm just weird. sorry.
♣♣ Like an instrument for a song
- Like the sun for tomorrow's dawn
- Every moment of time's just an answer to find
- What you're here for, what you breathe for
- What you wake for, What you bleed for.
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Wednesday, February 2, 2011
, 10:17:00 PM
⇨Heartache
Can i have back those days where there were only you and me?
*** *** ***
Last night was pleasant.
The fireworks booming at the distance. A birds eye view of everything happening.
A porch where i could sit comfortably as i watched all the action.
A nice breeze and that comfortable sweater i used to wrap around me.
The excited cheers of people as they play happily.
Most importantly, your messages accompanying me the whole way through although you were busy playing with cracker yourself.
But, I'm a greedy person. I want more than that!
I want to be in YOUR arms instead of my sweater.
I want to sit leaning on YOU.
I want to hear YOUR voice cheering happily.
All i could do was imagine you running away with that smile of yours as you ignite those firecrackers.
All i could do was imagine your laughter.
All i could do was imagine your arms wrapped around me as i leaned on you.
I imagine us sitting there together watching the fireworks at the distance.
I really envy my imaginary self. It was so real. As if it was reality.
For that one moment, i really really missed you.
And for once, you called! That was probably the first time we talked on the phone for more than 10 minutes.
For the first time, i felt like we had something.
For that first time, i smiled as i went to dreamland.
For once, i didn't feel like an idiot.