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♣ The name's Zanny... which means adventurous, crazy...
♣ Still considering what permanent job I want for the rest of my life.
♣ Loves: Wolves, dogs, MY cello, looking at clouds, My family and... you know who you are.
♣ Hates: Backstabbers? people who talk without using their brains first? you get the point.
♣ Dreams of: Having a 9-5 job that pays well. Have my own house where i can provide a living heaven for my dogs. Live a peaceful life with those i hold dear to. Have a family. Die peacefully.
♣ I'm just an ordinary girl, living in a extraordinary world. Longing for time to myself where i can just sit down with my dogs by my side, sipping tea and looking at the clouds drift by.
♣ I hate pain and am really sensitive to pain. Hates people randomly slapping me, I don't care whether it's a light pat or a tight slap.
♣ I'm very anti social and hates the effort of reconnecting with people. It doesn't mean I don't care or I've forgotten them though... Just call me and i WILL be there for you.
♣ It's just that, It hurts to know that there's a distance and we won't be as close as we used to. Sigh, I really wish college could last forever. I had my closest high school friends as my housemates and i found the best friends i could only dream of. And i found you.
♣ I think too much. I wake up from my dreams crying sometimes. Sometimes because of a friend. Might be my family or even you. I cry and get depressed when I'm drunk. I'm just weird. sorry.


♣♣ Like an instrument for a song
- Like the sun for tomorrow's dawn
- Every moment of time's just an answer to find
- What you're here for, what you breathe for
- What you wake for, What you bleed for.

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Wednesday, February 2, 2011 , 1:14:00 AM

I think of you all day. But i don't want you here. hmm... weird.

*** *** ***
Really, Define missing a person for me?
I spend at least 18 hours thinking of you. You even appear in my dreams.
Yet, I just don't have that urge that tells me "if only he was here".
Yea, there are some moments when i really wanted to be in your arms... but really, they're really rare now.

I know just what's happening. I guess i'm too used to not having your company.
Especially when we're away from each other.
Used to those ignored messages.
Used to not having any messages.
Used to the distance.
Used to waiting without having any reply.
Used to dissapointment.
Heck, i can even say i don't want anything to do with you now!
I could tell everyone i'm over you, have no more feelings for you.
I could go wild and play around.
I could shout out to the world that i'm free and available.
But, yes another but, I know. When i see you, I'll fall head over heels for you again.
Happens every time.

I could have a crush on a hottie and throw you outta my mind.
Yet when i see you. I get lovestruck again. It'll just hit me, fast and hard.
That's probably what made me hold on for so long. =)



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