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♣ The name's Zanny... which means adventurous, crazy... ♣ Still considering what permanent job I want for the rest of my life. ♣ Loves: Wolves, dogs, MY cello, looking at clouds, My family and... you know who you are. ♣ Hates: Backstabbers? people who talk without using their brains first? you get the point. ♣ Dreams of: Having a 9-5 job that pays well. Have my own house where i can provide a living heaven for my dogs. Live a peaceful life with those i hold dear to. Have a family. Die peacefully. ♣ I'm just an ordinary girl, living in a extraordinary world. Longing for time to myself where i can just sit down with my dogs by my side, sipping tea and looking at the clouds drift by. ♣ I hate pain and am really sensitive to pain. Hates people randomly slapping me, I don't care whether it's a light pat or a tight slap. ♣ I'm very anti social and hates the effort of reconnecting with people. It doesn't mean I don't care or I've forgotten them though... Just call me and i WILL be there for you. ♣ It's just that, It hurts to know that there's a distance and we won't be as close as we used to. Sigh, I really wish college could last forever. I had my closest high school friends as my housemates and i found the best friends i could only dream of. And i found you. ♣ I think too much. I wake up from my dreams crying sometimes. Sometimes because of a friend. Might be my family or even you. I cry and get depressed when I'm drunk. I'm just weird. sorry. ♣♣ Like an instrument for a song - Like the sun for tomorrow's dawn - Every moment of time's just an answer to find - What you're here for, what you breathe for - What you wake for, What you bleed for. Tagboard
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Monday, January 17, 2011
, 6:15:00 AM
⇨I have my fears ![]() Guess night time is when the emo-ness always sets in... In the morning, you laugh, you smile, you have a great time. At night, you on the music, reflect on whatever happened in the day, reflect on your life, reflect on those significant memories that haunt you every now and then... It's that time where you have a reason to lock yourself in your room and just release your frustrations i guess? Ok... i have to blardy admit. I'm affected right to the pit of my heart. I try to act strong, try to act like i don't mind. But i do! I wish you could see that...or maybe you do... Seriously... to me things are just falling apart... I'm want to talk... but i'm afraid. You're always so... lack of confidence... Really sometimes i wish you could tell me to the face all those things... just blab it all out... reading them from the phone really... doesn't feel real... like you said... But i'm so afraid of facing you face to face... I'm a really insecure person... I find it hard to believe things just like that... and you... you just don't seem to be interested in proving anything... I'm not asking for promises... I want you to prove yourself... I'm afraid that... maybe you think you like me but actually you don't? maybe it's just dependency? I'm afraid that... maybe one day you'll get sick... of me of everything? I'm afraid that... things may not work out... My biggest fear of all... is the thought of me not being able to hold on... Now i have no idea what i'm blabbing about... |